Hot Air Balloons

HOT AIR BALLOONS RISE AS THE BURNER IS RELEASED… BUT EVENTUALLY THEY BEGIN TO FALL AND NEED TO BE REFILLED. THEY MUST CONTINUE TO BE FILLED IN ORDER TO GO UP. PEOPLE ARE LIKE THIS. THEY MUST BE CONSISTENTLY ENCOURAGED IN ORDER TO REACH THEIR HIGHEST POTENTIAL.

Early one Sunday morning in 1993, five passengers and a pilot boarded a hot air balloon. Their destination was Aspen Valley, one of Colorado’s popular tourist locations. Tours like this were common, and the pilot was familiar with the area. But on this particular morning the balloon was flown dangerously low. As the wind began to pick up, the balloon started drifting closer and closer to a group of power lines. Eye witnesses reported that they saw the balloon begin to rise, but it was too little, too late. It collided with a power station and all six people on board were killed. Although the pilot was experienced, he neglected to carry out a fundamental task: filling the balloon enough so it could rise to a safe altitude. If only the pilot had refilled the balloon sooner—the tragedy could have been easily avoided.

Without being refilled on a consistent basis, hot air balloons eventually fall and crash. Hydrogen isn’t just a nice option, it’s a necessity. It’s the same way with people—we all need encouragement. One of the most important ways we connect with others is by lifting them up.

We fill other people’s balloons by affirming them, meeting their emotional needs, and giving them hope. The word “encourage” literally means “to inspire courage.” It goes much deeper than just creating warm fuzzy feelings. It’s about helping others overcome obstacles, see a new perspective, and reach for their highest potential. It has been said, “Encouragement is the oxygen of the soul.”

We tend to think of encouragement like it’s a luxury. It’s nice to have… but we can get by without it. However, reports from the Korean War seem to suggest otherwise. During the 1950s, this military conflict produced the worst Prisoner of War (POW) stories of any war in U.S. history. The death rates of American POWs were alarmingly high, as well as the depression and suicide rates.

Interestingly, the war camp conditions weren’t especially cruel. In fact, the detainees endured relatively minor amounts of physical torture. It didn’t add up, and Dr. William E. Mayer set out to discover why. His study yielded some surprising results: the men were dying because they had simply lost the will to live. The North Koreans had discovered the ultimate weapon of war: withholding all emotional support from others. No word of encouragement was ever spoken.

Soldiers only received negative letters from home, such as news of a family member’s death, a notice of divorce, or overdue bill notifications. Any positive notes were withheld. Their captors rewarded them for snitching on one another and even required the men to confess their deepest faults before the entire group. Any sense of hope was completely torn away. The effects were devastating. Not only did the prisoners stop caring about one another, they stopped caring about themselves. It was not uncommon to see a prisoner go off into a corner, sit alone, and wait to die.1

Most of these soldiers would have likely survived if they had received some encouragement. But instead, their hope slowly withered away. Their balloons were never filled. They couldn’t live off of the compliments they’d received in the past. Why? Because people never stop needing to be encouraged, the same way balloons need continuous air! Just because you praised someone in the past doesn’t mean that person is set for life. Others need to know that you value them right now.

Former Ford chairman Donald Peterson understood this important principle and made a practice of jotting down positive notes to his associates every day. He once said, “Too often, people we genuinely like have no idea how we feel about them. Too often, we think: I haven’t said anything critical; why do I have to say something positive?” We forget that without consistent encouragement, people’s balloons will slowly deflate. Get this. The number one reason people leave their jobs: they don’t feel appreciated; 61 percent of Americans received no praise in the workplace last year.2

Tom Rath and Donald Clifton developed a helpful analogy for understanding encouragement in their book, How Full is Your Bucket: Strategies for Life and Work. They describe it like this: “Everyone has an invisible bucket. We are at our best when our buckets are overflowing—and at our worst when they are empty. Everyone also has an invisible dipper. In each interaction, we can use our dipper either to fill or to dip from others’ buckets. Whenever we fill others’ buckets, we in turn fill our own.”3

It’s a simple concept, but it has some profound implications. Each time you relate to someone else, you have a choice: you can either build them up or tear them down. If you’re not intentionally “filling others’ buckets,” you might unknowingly be dipping from them. If you’re feeling discouraged, don’t go around projecting that on others. Instead, build others up. You’ll find that your own outlook will improve as you pour into others.

SOME ADVICE ON GIVING COMPLIMENTS

Encouragement rarely happens by accident. Like any skill, it takes time and effort to develop. Here are a few tips on how you can improve your compliments:

MAKE THEM SINCERE

Don’t you hate it when someone compliments you, but you know they don’t really mean it? You wish they wouldn’t have said anything in the first place, because it’s just not real. Our compliments should be genuine. When they aren’t, we undermine our message and actually end up doing more harm than good. I recently ran across a story that illustrates this point well:

Connie works for a major bank. Her department did a phenomenal job, making hundreds of thousands of dollars for the bank, and Connie’s boss sent an e-mail congratulating and thanking her. That very afternoon, he rode the elevator with her and didn’t even acknowledge her existence. It completely wiped out any good his e-mail could have done.4

MAKE THEM SPECIFIC

Generic: Matt, good job on your presentation the other day.

Specific: Matt, I was so impressed with your presentation in English class yesterday! You’re a very gifted public speaker, and funny too. That story you told about your family was hilarious!

Keep in mind: it doesn’t take a lot of effort to get specific when we compliment others, but it can pay off huge dividends.

MAKE THEM PUBLIC

“The Limited” retail stores have been known for going all out in their award ceremonies. One year the company invited its top 100 managers to assemble in Colorado, where they were taken via ski-lift to the top of a mountain. Each one was then publicly honored for his/her accomplishments. Video cameras captured the entire event, and the footage was used to inspire other employees. Memorable? You bet!5

If you don’t have a mountain, that’s okay. There are plenty of ways that you can honor others in public:

Affirm others when introducing them to someone else.

When someone compliments you as a leader, deflect that praise onto your team.

Practice reverse gossip—say positive things behind others’ backs. It’ll get back to them.

MAKE THEM PERSONAL

Complimenting someone without getting personal is kind of like sending a birthday card without ever writing anything inside. Oh sure, Hallmark may say it more eloquently, but the part we all look for is that little note scribbled in the corner. It may not be polished (or even legible!), but it’s the personal touch that counts.

Try to compliment others in a way that is meaningful to them. Some people respond really well to the spoken word. Others are more receptive to e-mail messages or handwritten notes. For some, a pat on the back is far more meaningful than any sort of award ceremony could ever be. The point is that no two people are exactly alike, so tailor your compliments accordingly.

WHEN TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS

Have you ever wondered how a hot air balloon reaches its destination? I mean, there doesn’t seem to be any real way of steering the thing. The answer is quite simple actually—its heading is determined by its height. At different altitudes the wind current changes, thus affecting which direction the balloon flies. A skilled balloonist knows this and releases the burner at just the right time. If the timing’s wrong, the balloon can drift dangerously off course.

Timing plays a big role in the effectiveness of our encouragement as well. Good leaders know this and have an almost intuitive sense of when to adjust altitude with their people. It’s great to know how to encourage others, but it’s also important to know when.

There’s no one-size-fits-all guide to know the best times to encourage others, but here’s a starter:

After they fail – so they won’t give up hope.

After they succeed – so they’ll want to win again.

When they least expect it – so they’ll know it’s not an act.

When they first meet you – so they won’t forget your connection.